Worthy in our unworthiness

Many of us have been there. If not for ourselves, for a loved one.

I took this photo during a loved one’s hospital stay. At this point in time they were not connected to any of the equipment, but the lighting in the room spoke to me about the somberness of the situation.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a place of darkness. Anxiousness creeps in as we look for a glimmer of hope or escape. How will we ever get out of our financial mess? Why aren’t my lifestyle changes improving my health? Will my sister or brother ever treat me with love? Maybe we feel left out, alone, not a part of the wonderful things everyone else is experiencing.

I believe each of us has these types of feelings. If you never have, thank God for creating something special in your life because it would be extraordinary. Life is tough. We live in a broken world where sickness, trouble, darkness and death are all around us. However, we don’t have to lose hope.

I used to have a very structured routine before work. I got to the parking deck early, read my devotions and prayed for the day. I used an acrostic and prayer app on my phone to keep me focused. You knew I was an engineer, right? My prayer acrostic of choice was ACTS—Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication.

For the longest time when I got to Confession, I focused on just how unworthy I was to even be living, much less have a job, enjoy relatively good health and a wonderful family. Though, just like every other person, each of those areas of life have had their tough times. I would say, “God, here I am, coming to you from a position of unworthiness. I shouldn’t even be allowed to talk to You. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve any of your blessings.”

Then one morning I read this woman’s story.

A large crowd followed and pressed around him.  And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak,  because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’”

But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” (Mark 5:24-34, NIV)

My prayers changed. Sure, I still come to God out of awe and reverence, in a healthy state of wonder and amazement that I’ve been given chance after chance. But, my stance is different.

The woman in the story was beyond unworthy to approach Jesus by early New Testament standards. Jewish law considered her unclean. Her bleeding had been going on for twelve years, always getting worse, never better.

Can you imagine spending everything you have, in money, time, and energy, and still being in her situation? Maybe you can, maybe you have.

Finding herself in an impossible situation, in a crowd of people, all bumping up against Jesus, she faithfully reached out just enough to touch the fringe of his garment (from the Luke account).

The Jewish leaders would have said, “How dare this woman believe she has the right to come into contact with anyone, much less Jesus? Her unclean status has now made everyone she touched, including Jesus, unclean. Now, all of you have to separate from society.” (paraphrased from Leviticus)

Instead, healing power flowed from Jesus to the woman. She instantly knew she was healed and Jesus sought a personal encounter with her. He saw her, at her lowest, as worthy.

Friend, please know Jesus finds you worthy. No matter what you are going through or how long you’ve endured, just make that tiniest reach in faith. He’ll know your touch and want an encounter with you.

Will He heal you? Will He carry you through your hurt? Will He give you peace to endure your situation?

Reach and see. Let me know what you think.