Do you need to cool off?

I know just how those parking meters feel.

North Carolina weather can be fickle. One minute you’re freezing so you bundle up. The next, you’re hot so you start shedding clothes.

Most December days you’ll find me in shorts with a vest over a light long-sleeve shirt over a t-shirt. I’m a little chilly in the mornings, but by afternoon I’ve lost the vest and the long-sleeve shirt. I find if I keep my core warm, the rest of me feels pretty good.

I’m not the only one. I see lots of folks handling the varying temperatures the same way. Okay, on the colder days, there are not a lot, but usually a few of us.

This concept is not limited to hot-natured people. It’s a natural reaction to our surroundings. As the temperature changes, we adjust. When things heat up around us, we take actions to become cooler. Just like that parking meter removing their cover when they got hot.

With that picture in mind, I want you to consider the temperature of your anger.

I know—anger, such a harsh word. And, this is supposed to be a post about hope.

Do you ever find yourself being angered by someone? Not something, but someone. Think about a recent encounter where someone said something or did something that made you want to fly hot.

How did you react? Did you do something that increased the heat in the situation or something that cooled it?

If you think about it, this is not a hard question. We all know those times when we intentionally do something or say something in response to someone who has angered us. Sometimes you do it with people you don’t even know. How about when another driver cuts you off? Or how about when you’re waiting at a red light to go straight and the person across the intersection turns left in front of you as soon as the light turns green? I mean, you had the right-of-way, right?

Do you try to teach them a lesson by laying on the horn? Do you yell at them? Do you throw your hands up in the air so they’ll see just how angry they’ve made you? Those actions may make you feel better for a few seconds, but I seriously doubt you’re teaching anyone a lesson, and for me, I don’t feel better in the end. I usually feel worse.

I know those situations are frustrating, but I want you to consider something. I got this advice from a life coach years ago. He recommended I start my day by saying, “Today, all the other drivers get a pass.” That’s right. All those things other drivers do to irritate you, determine before they even happen that you’re going to give them a free pass. Just let them go.

It really does bring down the stress on your commute.

Now, let’s get a little more personal. Do you also have a tendency to do the same thing to people close to you? Your spouse? Your children? Your parents?

You know what I’m going to say before I say it. If you think you feel badly after reacting harshly to another driver you don’t know, don’t you feel even worse when reacting that way to a loved one?

We do. I believe we do because we are going against what God wants for us.

James 1:19-20 (NASB) tells us, “…But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”

Easier said than done, right? Sure it is. Probably because in the heat of the moment, we resort to who we are as humans. We’re imperfect, selfish, and protective. As a result, instead of cooling the situation, we heat it up. Often, much hotter than necessary.

Try this. Give those you love a pass. We know when we’re provoking our loved ones. Even when we think they need to learn a lesson. Take the advice from someone with more authority than a highly trained life coach. James is a spokesperson for God. He tells us to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

Why? Because when we don’t listen, are quick to speak, and quick to anger, we do not achieve the righteousness of God. Satan loves under-achievers.

The Holy Spirit will help you. He wants you to be right with God. Start your day in the Bible. Seek God’s wisdom. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you do things to cool a situation, rather than heat it up.

What practical steps do you take to reduce the temperature? We’d love to hear them.