Ooh, That’s Gonna Leave a Mark!

I stood with about eight other men on the back row of our church’s small choir, my hymnal low while everyone else held theirs high. The choir voices along with congregational singing filled the auditorium. One person did not sing.

Me.

Oh, I wanted to. On any other Sunday I would have buckled up and pushed through. This Sunday, I couldn’t. Life’s pressures had been building for some time now, and I was “at that point”, if you know what I mean.

My dad was very ill, and I had recently divorced. My roles in the church demanded I appear well-adjusted and encouraging for others. At least I thought they did. I shook hands and met others with an “I’m fine, how are you?”. Problem was—I wasn’t fine. You can only pretend so long.

Soon the congregation blurred as tears streamed down my face. When the sobs started, I knew I’d be a distraction if I didn’t get away. I stepped out of the choir loft and into the small staging room for baptismal candidates. I sat on a small white bench and let it out. An embarrassing, ugly cry.

I don’t remember exactly when, but shortly after I’d sat, a fellow choir member and good friend sat next to me. I felt his hand on my shoulder as the muffled songs, then sermon went in one ear and out the other. My friend never said a word. He didn’t ask me if I was okay or what was wrong. He didn’t offer to fix anything, quote Scripture, or even pray with me.

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He just sat next to me. For the entire service.

He did exactly what I needed. At that moment, words would not have helped. Believe me, I’d heard plenty of words. My Sunday School Class, and the rest of the church for that matter, had ministered to me in wonderful ways for a long time. I’d stayed regular in church and continued to have personal time with the Lord.

Still, for some reason, that Sunday, in the middle of a congregational hymn, I broke.

Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:2, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (NASB)

I can’t think of a better example of humility, gentleness, patience, and bearing in love than what my friend gave me that morning. I am forever grateful for his Christlike love and the compassion he showed me.

Bearing with one another may involve taking a meal, cutting a lawn, saying a prayer, or giving a ride. It may also be nothing more than “being there”. The power in that action not only provided personal comfort, it left a mark on my life.

The trials of life often smother us in the same way pollen coats a tennis court in early spring. You wonder if there’s any way to get to what is underneath. In tennis, the ball leaves a clear mark, making in or out calls easy. In life, a well-spent moment also leaves a mark, enabling a friend to experience Christ’s love.

I pray you have a great week and leave you with this question—“Who are you sitting with today?”

Today’s feature photo comes from a “photo-a-day” challenge I pursued several years ago. The photo inspires the topic. For me, the posts challenge my creativity, writing discipline, and dependence on God for His message. My prayer is that you find hope in God’s Word, and that you’ll share your hope with others.

2 thoughts on “Ooh, That’s Gonna Leave a Mark!

  1. This really touched me Tim. What a beautiful picture of friendship, encouragement, and Christlike love! The value of just sitting in silence with someone who’s hurting is completely underestimated. It’s wonderful to have those friends with whom we can talk things through or the ones who provide for more practical needs, but we also need the ones who can just sit quietly and be there for us, as your friend was for you.

    1. Thank you Terri. That day has been etched in my mind and I remember it like it was yesterday even though it was almost 25 years ago. We may not be able to sit next to someone today, but we can let them know we are there for them with a simple “I’m here.”

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