I think of friends…

My wife sat with the small cardboard box in her lap. She lifted the gift, weighing it in the air. “What is it?”

“Open it,” her friend said.

I looked on from the recliner, eyebrows raised.

My wife pulled back the box flaps revealing a Styrofoam cover protecting something fragile.

Her friend motioned for her to continue while her husband stood across the room grinning.

My wife cut her eyes at me. “This is exciting.” She lifted the protective lid and pulled the horse from his gift box home. She held the horse high, rotating its body to face her. “I love it.”

Now, that’s not exactly the way it happened, but I’m sure it was close.

Though not a uniformed employee, my wife worked at the Charlotte Fire Department for nine years. She served as Budget Manager, using her gifts, talents and an uncanny ability to solve problems to support an amazing organization.

Her work mattered to her and her friend knew that.

How does that happen? How do we find ourselves in relationships meaningful enough to make a difference in someone else’s life?

Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (New International Version).

Many of us have read and heard that verse several times over. It’s one of those that almost becomes cliché to our ears. We hear it and say to ourselves, Yep, sure does.

There are plenty of articles, Bible studies and posts out there about this verse, so I won’t belabor it, but to say iron sharpening iron takes a certain kind of effort. We have to be intentional.

My wife is. You can hear it in an animated conversation as she shares exciting news, consoles a troubled friend or gives them honest feedback on their dilemma. Or see it in a card, using way more words than I believe necessary to get the point across. And smell it in the chicken and dumplings she makes for them.

Some of you guys may say, “Lots of words and making a meal is not really my thing.”

Doesn’t have to be. Let me show you.

Sometime around 1995 our small bi-weekly Men’s Bible study had just let out. In this case, all the men involved in the study were married—except for me. Our small group picked a topic of interest each week and sought instruction from the Bible on how be a Christ-reflecting man around that topic.

On this evening, one of my good friends, an Associate Pastor at church, had remained behind to help me put away the last few things.

Recently divorced, I still attended church, taught Sunday School and had agreed to hold the studies at my apartment because let’s face it, we were less likely to inconvenience children and spouses there.

I’d been silently seething at the unfairness of my situation for some time. I don’t recall saying much about it, but it must have shown.

As my friend got his things to leave, he turned to me and said, “Tim, you know you can talk to God about how you feel. He knows already.”

That’s all it took. No fanfare. Just a friendship built on honesty and the willingness to share what God leads you to share. And it made a difference in my life.

When I look at that horse, I don’t think about the Fire Department, a career, or what occasion brought it to our house. I think of friends.

How about you? What makes for good friends?